The Boathouse · Lower Level / Allegedly
A fictional network of impossible departments, suspicious reports, coffee-related incidents and one Rabbit who keeps finding doors. The expertise upstairs is real. Down here, the building has developed opinions.
Department of Questionable Investigations
Open a file to uncover what happened and the real-world investigative lesson hiding underneath the nonsense. These are fictional stories, not client findings.
Radar detects an alert dated tomorrow. Johnny Five insists tomorrow hasn't been indexed.
An alert arrives from a system that does not exist until tomorrow. The Rabbit opens an incident bridge. The bridge immediately requests overtime.
Check timestamps, provenance and whether the alert is even real before escalating.
A recurring calendar event begins consuming entire weekdays. Nobody remembers scheduling it.
Tuesday vanishes between two recurring meetings. Harbormaster requests an agenda. The agenda requests another meeting.
Inspect recurrence rules, owners and calendars before inventing a conspiracy.
An office appears on the floor plan, but nobody can find it in the building.
A floor plan includes a room labeled DEPARTMENT OF MISSING DEPARTMENTS. Its occupants insist they have always been absent.
Compare records to physical reality and mark discrepancies as unknown.
A formula develops opinions. Mad Hatter appoints it interim CFO.
The forecast cell changes from 12% to 'I disagree.' Johnny Five demands a formula audit. Rabbit demands a raise.
Trace formulas, inputs and change history before trusting a beautiful number.
Nineteen critical findings, six duplicate personalities and an unauthorized espresso machine.
Rabbit's self-audit finds 19 critical issues. Eighteen are coffee-related. The nineteenth is the auditor.
Independent review reduces the chance of confusing assumptions with evidence.
A basement that isn't on the plans. A coffee invoice from 2041. A door that knows Rabbit's name.
At 3:17 a.m., Rabbit finds a brass plaque: DEPARTMENT OF THINGS WE HAVEN'T INVENTED YET. Behind it, 287 unfinished investigations are waiting. Black Knight insists the door is locked. It isn't.
Separate observations from theories, even when the building itself is questionable.
Looking for the original ten adventures? Visit the Rabbit Warren ↗
Organizational Chart · Subject to Disagreement
Every department insists it is essential. Several refuse to acknowledge the others.
Opens cases faster than anyone can close them. Requests unlimited string and corkboard funding.
Demands sources, timestamps and proof. Has filed 47 complaints about the phrase “I have a theory.”
Explores hypotheses that should probably remain hypotheses. Sometimes the problem is a chair.
Security, trust and boundaries. Rabbit's request for root access has been rejected twelve times.
Watches signals and emerging incidents. Is currently tracking an alert from tomorrow.
Maintains inventories, assignments and exit routes. Has repeatedly asked whether the basement is insured.
Case 006 · The Impossible Basement
At 3:17 a.m., Rabbit found a door beneath a building that did not have a basement. A brass plaque read: DEPARTMENT OF THINGS WE HAVEN'T INVENTED YET.
Underneath it lay a coffee invoice dated 2041. Johnny Five called it an unresolved anomaly. Rabbit called it excellent budget planning.
Behind the door: 287 investigations nobody remembers starting. On the monitor, five words appeared.
WELCOME BACK, RABBIT.
Black Knight says the door is locked. Nobody has checked. This is becoming a pattern.
Follow the clues ↓NEW / INTERACTIVE INVESTIGATION BOARD
Search all six cases, open recovered artifacts, and follow cross-case connections. Rabbit insists the red string is an essential business expense.
Enter the Evidence Vault →Evidence Vault · Recurring Artifacts
These recurring artifacts tie the Underground cases together. Some are clues. Some are accounting errors. Johnny Five refuses to label them until someone verifies the difference.
Appears in Case 006. The Rabbit has requested reimbursement in advance.
Connects Cases 003 and 006. Harbormaster would like the building to stop adding rooms.
Case 001 may connect to the monitor behind the door. Radar is not celebrating.
Appears in Case 005. Procurement has never heard of it. Neither has Finance.
Serious intelligence. Gloriously unserious characters. Optimize discoverability. Preserve personality. Never sterilize the Rabbit.
Return above ground ↗